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Monday, February 14, 2011

How Crazy Ideas Make it in the Online World

It's amazing how last minute Christmas gifts, Valentine gifts, Birthdays and most importantly Gag gifts can make the online vendor think of the craziest ideas.  Some of the products listed in this blog are good, some not so good.  They all have one thing in common.   They are weird and crazy.


go-girl on AmazonThis is an interesting and unique product that will probably outlast all others on this page.  It basically lets girls stand up and pee.  What a concept!

This children's book that's not really a children's book is currently at the top of the's bestseller lists and it's not released yet.  "Go the Fuck to Sleep" combines cute rhymes with expletive-ridden pleas.  The author,  Adam Mansbach, was inspired by his adventures in getting his daughter to bed.  Here is a quote from the book:
"The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest / And the creatures who crawl, run and creep. / I know you're not thirsty. That's bullshit. Stop lying. / Lie the fuck down, my darling, and sleep, [...] The cubs and the lions are snoring,/ Wrapped in a big snuggly heap. / How come you can do all this other great shit / But you can't lie the fuck down and sleep?"

How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
Let me first say that I have not bought this book myself.  This book has 4.5/5 stars by 50 people at the time of this writing.  Doesn't that make you want to find out more?  Well, here's a short version of the summary:

"I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway... Furthermore, he can make love three times in succession without drawing out. ... It can burn out the dirty stickiness of his body, release his immaterial fiber or third attention which has been confined to his stickiness. Then, he can shoot out his immaterial fiber or third attention to an object, concentrate on it and attain happy lucky feeling through the success of concentration. ..."

After reading the summary I was curious as to see what the hell everyone is raving about.  I mean, it's gotta be a good book if it got rated so well.  After reading the reviews, which I suggest you do, I had a great laugh.  I'm actually tempted to buy this book. It sounds really hilarious.  I'm sure it would cure whatever depression I have for the time that I'm reading the book.

Guardian Angel
This is an interesting product.  As of right now it has 31 ratings.  The product features are:

  • Eliminate Chronic Pain
  • Stimulates 344 points of pressure in the hand
  • Produces the same benefits of traditional acupuncture without a costly visit to the Dr. or the use of needles
  • Relieves fatigue, stress, insomnia
  • Promotes organ regeneration

"Promotes organ regeneration"...  interesting.  What's more interesting are the comments for this product.  It seems as though no one takes this seriously:

"I have no idea about what this thing is suppose to do but it's a wonderful surrogate for my dead hedgehog. RIP Mr. Prickles" - 441 out of 447 people found this helpful

Another comment that is really a fictional story with the title "May have Hatched. Don't Know What Came Out." - 385 out of 391 people found this story helpful

There's a lot more comments like these for the Guardian Angel.  I wonder how many this product actually sold?
Yea, you read it right.  For as little as $12.95 + $6.95 shipping you can send some cow dung to a friend or enemy.  If you're feeling a little more devious you can get the gallon size or poop from another animal.  They say they will never tell the recipient who sent the package, but for legal reasons can't let you write your own message.
From their site:
The TOP TEN reasons to send some one a package of poop:
  1. To your ex-husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend
  2. Neighbors pet crapping on your lawn
  3. For your mean boss
  4. For a salesperson or mechanic that ripped you off
  5. A Last minute gift for some one who has everything
  6. A gag gift
  7. For a rich gloating friend, to knock them down a peg
  8. To the teacher that gave your son/daughter a D
  9. Some one left you negative feedback on your auction
  10. You just don't like them

I think it's a genius and unique idea.  Lots of legal risks involved though so I hope they did their homework.  I noticed this site a few years ago, so it seems that they are doing decent being up that long.

Spotted Dick
Heinz Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding, 9.4-Ounce Cans (Pack of 6)Hmm... not for me...   Here's a sample of the directions:
...To Open: To prevent spurting, hold cloth over can opener when removing can top marked open this end first. Run a knife around the inside on the can.  Turn can over onto a plate, open other end and press out...

Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz
Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz

Very costly milk.  For $29.99 you can get a gallon of milk!   It's not just milk though, it's Tuscan Milk.

Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk
Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk
Interesting pictures of traffic accidents are the alternate product images.  The description clearly states to not use the product while driving.

Relaxman Relaxation Capsule
Relaxman Relaxation Capsule
For just $39,995.00 you can have your own relaxation capsule.  Or you can pay $39,999.99 for the un-reviewed version.   I'd stick with the cheaper one.  Nothing wrong with this product, if you can afford it that is.  This comment left by one "Sailoli" used this product very efficiently.

"One drawback, when it was delivered the capsule had no bolt on the outside. But I'm handy, so I installed one.

I have been locking the wife and kids into the chamber from 7pm to 7am every evening, and boy am I relaxed. This really works.

more to come...

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